1)Why does Pahlaj Nihalani censor all the s*x scenes?
Because Pahlaj Na-hilani
2)Once Pandit Haripradad Chaurasia wore some perfume before a concert but he just could’t play the flute. Why?
Because na rahegi ‘baas’, na bajegi basuri.
3)Why is Mr. Narendra Modi only visible at night?
Because he’s the Prime Minister (PM) not the Aviation Minister (AM).
4)What did the lioness say when her husband asked her whether sha had a boyfriend before marriage or not ?
“Aapki isi bat pe ek sher yaad aaya”
5) Rajiv: “chandani, i love you!”
*Yeh sun ke chadni chawk gayi*
Chandani: “But I’ve always only considered you a friend.”
*Yeh sun ke Rajive Chauk gaya*
6)Metro station’s mom: “Beta bijli ka bill jama kar ke aaja!”
Meta station: “Aaj toh busy hoon. karkardooma?”
7)Teacher:Can anybody tell me what is aloe vera?
Student: Madam Panjab ke liye drink banata hai, toh woh usse glass dete hue kehta hai “Ae Lo, vira”.
8) Bullet 1: “Man, I need a new job.”
Bullet 2: “Don’t you already have one?”
Bullet 1: “Nah man. I got fired”
9) Why was the astronaut’s wife unhappy?
Kyuki uska pati ab iss duniya mein nahin raha.
10) What did the newspaper say to the magzine?
“Dude, you’ve got issues.”
11) What did Earth say to other planets?
“Get a life, you guys!”
12)What did one DNA say to another DNA ?
“Do these genes make me look fat?”
13) Why doesevery respect shiney Ahuja so much?
‘Cause he’s a self-‘maid’ man.
14) Why does Dolly Binda puts on so much make-up?
Because mehndi laga ke rakhna, ‘Dolly’ saja ke rakhna.